Before I sat down to write this I plopped a spoonful of Tim Horton’s instant French Vanilla powder into my mug and dispensed hot water via the touch of a button on my Keurig. Suffice to say, I am not a coffee snob. It’s delicious and probably full of cancer chemicals and tumor-times but I am so very down.
I feel like the “not quite coffee” powder approach is a polite nod to my psychiatrist’s request that I NEVER ingest caffeine. Because as you know, it’s a stimulant, and as he knows, stimulants can make me get all hyper-manic and full of results. (Results can be interpreted as solving complicated math equations, sending work emails at 4am or booking a last-minute flight to Venezuela because I want to see that one waterfall that came up on Pinterest like NOW.)
Caffeine is a legit stimulant, we know that, but what’s it doin’? And why did I need it to sit down and type this bitch out? And why am I the most creative weirdo after 3 cups, later to be followed by the most insomniac that evening?
Well I did some googles and it gets sciencey, so bear with me.
When your brain is active and firing off neurons, those neurons produce a byproduct called adenosine. When you build up a big ol’ batch of adenosine your brain is all “Okay too much of this. Sleep time now”.
BUT you can block those bossy adenosine receptors with a big ol’ swig of caffeine to keep the party going. Now the brain’s own stimulating neurotransmitters (Glutamate and dopamine) are going hog wild, free of receptor restraints. This results in increased energy, enhances physical, cognitive and motor performance; and aids short-term memory and problem solving.
Bonus Science: Receptors are blocked within just 5 minutes of consumption, and the peak effect hits 15 minutes – 2 hours afterwards.
Caffeine hones your attention in like tight-ass little laser and gives you the energy to execute. The only problem being, stimulants can make you tooooo focused. That’s why a dose of Ritalin could have you cleaning the grout around the toilet for 4 glorious hours.
So if you’re sitting on a great idea but struggling with self-doubt and initiative, coffee is your bae. Coffee will help you sit still, and get it out. But when it comes to free writing, conjuring up new ideas and concept; Whiskey is where it’s at. – More on that in another post.
The last time I tried to get educated on bean-things at a hipster café, my series of questioning was brutally rejected by the minimum-wage Daria lookalike behind the counter. I just wanted some innovative recommendations to mix-up my standard Chai order. Cashew milk? TELL ME EVERYTHING! But she was having none of it.
Dejected I sulked back to my table with zero new coffee shop worker connections and waited for the friend (now my big hot bf) that I was meeting.
Friend (bf) strolls in, and I see him saunter up to the same Barista, only to be greeted with smiles and banter. He’s pointing at the board, he’s asking questions, there’s so much smiling. When he arrives at the table and I ask what he ordered he responds “She said it’s a dirty chai? It’s a chai with a shot of espresso” EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING! And then the fun flirty addition of her comment “She said she likes to say it, ‘Dirty Chai”.
Ya okay so I just need to be more 6’5” greek with curly-woo hair atop my head to get some goddamn answers about cashew milk? Rude.
But I still go there because the windows fog up and you can draw on them, and it’s super close to my place, and I have a good people watching position on the rise.